2012 Movies

43. Hick (2012)

Sat, 07 Jul 2012 11:45:35 -0400

As hick as a parrot

I was looking forward to watching this, as I’ve known about it for ages and it’s got a fair number of actors I like in it. However, it doesn’t seem to go anywhere. It’s boring and uncomfortable at times, although it does raise a question about whether Blake Lively deliberately takes trashy slutty roles or if those are the only ones she can get. 1/10

42. Journey 2 The Mysterious Island (2012)

Sat, 07 Jul 2012 11:40:01 -0400

The Rock of ages

I’ve had this on my hard drive for absolutely ages and now that Dana had more or less caught up on writing up her movies, we could watch new movies again. While this didn’t spring any surprises it was an entertaining hour and a half. Michael Caine and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson were clearly enjoying themselves, Josh Hutcherson carried the lead well (he’s going to score well in my end of year review) and watching this means I’ve watched all but one of Vanessa Hudgens’ movies. The only real downside was occasionally the plot would grind to a halt so that we could have a scene purely put in to make use of the 3D.7/10

41. Friends With Kids

Sat, 07 Jul 2012 11:24:00 -0400

Not a sequel to Friends With Benefits

Saw this to kill time before the Garbage gig at Brixton academy, because we’re both old and neither of us wanted to stand up for any length of time. We made the right choice, as the first half of this film is uproariously funny, before settling down and resolving the plot. The cast are perfect for a comedy, either SNL stalwarts (Rudolph, Wiig) or experienced in my favourite sitcoms (Adam Scott, Jon Hamm) so there was no surprise that they handled the material. Megan Fox didn’t let the side down; it was apt seeing her in a film before a Garbage gig, considering how much she harassed her husband to let her accompany him to work so she could fangirl over Shirley Manson on the set of Terminator. 9/10

40. Brave (2012)

Sat, 07 Jul 2012 11:15:23 -0400

A bear! You made a bear!

Yes, I saw this before it was released over here. It was free, too. It’s the first Disney Pixar film to a) feature a female protagonist and b) the first Pixar character to enter the the Disney Princess range. There are some who claim that this is the first redheaded Disney Princess; these people are wrong and these Enchanted deniers are what’s wrong with the world. Thankfully this had no attempt at a love story, it’s more of a mother/daughter bonding story. With bears. And Scottish people. Entertaining, but not as good as Tangled. 8/10

39. La Luna (2012)

Sat, 07 Jul 2012 11:06:57 -0400

Climb me to the moon

A rather sweet short film about three generations of a family cleaning the moon. Yes, cleaning. 8/10

38. The Island (2005)

Sat, 07 Jul 2012 11:03:13 -0400

Island in the sun

I’ll come clean, this was a drunken cheap purchase from Aldi one Saturday afternoon. It starts off the same as Never Let Me Go, but instead of being a thoughtful look at human cloning, it turns into a bog-standard Michael Bay action movie. Nothing special, but not boring. 5/10

37. The Prestige (2005)

Sat, 07 Jul 2012 10:57:11 -0400

Magic Man begins

Surprisingly I’d never seen this before, despite being a fan of Nolan’s work. Like Memento and Inception, this film plays with the the audience’s expectations marvelously. It’s definitely one I want to watch again, knowing the twist, and seeing how it gets pointed out to the viewers. As a bonus, you can pretend it’s a Wolverine/Batman/Black Widow Elseworlds-style crossover set in Victorian London. 9/10

36. Drive Angry (2011)

Fri, 08 Jun 2012 16:17:00 -0400

It’s all over the front page, you give me road rage

Watched this over the bank holiday as part of a clean-up of films knocking about my hard drive. I didn’t have medium hopes for it, let alone high ones. However, this was an over the top absolutely madcap bonkers film. The plot – Cage’s character has escaped prison to stop his granddaughter being sacrificed to a cult – is minimal but that works in the film’s favour, allowing for an entertaining ride. Plenty of car and violence porn, Amber Heard is lovely as the eye candy, Billy Burke and William Fitchner are clearly relishing the roles given to them and Cage just channels his Con Air character (which might just be Nick Cage, really). It won’t win awards for profound story-telling or acting but sometimes you don’t want that – you just want a bit of entertaining fluff. It’s a Saturday night beer and pizza movie that you put on to switch off from the world. For escapist amusement it does that phenomenally well. 8/10

35. Snow White And The Huntsman (2012)

Fri, 08 Jun 2012 16:15:53 -0400

Die Sonne scheint mir aus den Händen

As well as Rock Of Ages, this was designated one of the films that we’d see at the cinema this year for me, and Dana will be dragged along as well. I was quite looking forward to it as the trailers had played up the idea of Snow White as a butt-kicking female action hero, who didn’t need no man to define her life. I was excited as this would finally be the film I could show as proof when people call me crazy for wanting Kristen Stewart to play Melaka Fray in the live action adaptation of Joss Whedon’s graphic novel! People will stop seeing her as Bella Swan and realise what a good actress she is! While I doubted that it would get anywhere close to The Artist/Hunger Games/Avengers in the year end charts, I was quietly confident that it would be a solid 7 with potential for more.

I was wrong. The first half of the film was spent alternating between thinking “it’ll pick up, it’ll pick up” and marvelling at Charlize Theron’s scene chewing over the top acting – she was hammier than Jon Hamm and Hammy from Over The Hedge eating a large ham while overacting scenes from Hamlet – until I realised that it wasn’t going to get any better. Large chunks of the time were spent focussing on the scenery. Chris Hemsworth was playing a Scottish Thor (if you’re going to get typecast, at least he’s typecast in fun roles), Stewart struggled manfully with an appalling script, and while the dwarves were entertaining they didn’t appear until halfway through by which time I’d given up. It chalks off all the usual story beats – wicked stepmother, apple, dwarves – but quite frankly so does Rammstein’s video for Sonne and that’s 4 minutes long. Don’t waste money on this movie. Instead watch the Rammstein video, watch Kristen Stewart in The Runaways/Adventureland/Speak, Hemsworth in Thor/The Avengers, and Theron in her episodes of Arrested Development. 2/10

34. Midnight In Paris (2011)

Fri, 08 Jun 2012 16:14:32 -0400

Back to the past. Far back.

I’d been meaning to watch this film ever since it came out but for one reason or another never got round to it. It was actually recommended to me by a customer (in response to me mentioning about my trip) so we made sure to give it a go. It’s rather lovely and twee, with Owen Wilson leaving his absolute bitch of a wife to time travel back to the 1920s, hanging out with his literary idols (Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Porter). Back there he meets Marion Cotillard’s Adriana, herself obsessed with the past and despondent with her present (hammering home the point about how everyone is nostalgic for a better time). A rather lovely, sweet film filled with recognisable actors and a much better advert for the capital than Paris Je T’aime. Definitely worth watching. 9/10

33. Lilo And Stitch (2002)

Fri, 08 Jun 2012 16:12:39 -0400

Veeeeeeeeery bad man

I wouldn’t say I was forced to watch this, but it was suggested that Stitch would feature rather a lot in EuroDisney and so I probably ought to watch it in order to know who on earth he is. After a slow start setting the scene I really got into it and can see why Stitch is so popular. Fun fact! The voice of Lilo, Daveigh Chase, cropped up as the youngest Darko (i.e. not the one who was a Gyllenhaal) in Donnie Darko. 9/10

32. Paris Je T'aime (2006)

Fri, 08 Jun 2012 16:11:25 -0400

Parisian postcards

We watched this as part of our “films relating to our holiday” marathon. It features a series of vignettes set in and around the Paris capital. Despite featuring some huge names (Steve Buscemi, Natalie Portman) none of the stories really gripped us and in the end, I just wished we’d watched Taxi 2 instead. 3/10

31. Avengers Assemble (2012)

Fri, 08 Jun 2012 16:10:32 -0400

Some assembly required

Due to my laxity in writing these up, lots will already have been said about this film. The record breaking box office haul speaks for itself, as does the plethora of tumblr posts around it. I don’t agree with people saying it’s the best film of the year (it’s not even the best Joss Whedon film of the year) and it had flaws. The McGuffin was too easily defeated (the hypnotised man too mind-controlled to shave or change his clothes still retained enough self-awareness to build a back door into it?) and there was no real explanation of Loki’s motivation, apart from being a git. At two and a half hours it was already a long film but I feel that Mr Whedon’s deft hand at storytelling had been blunted by the studio in order to keep the time down and enable more showings. The extra hour of deleted material announced for the DVD, plus Joss’s ability to handle a sizable cast while characterising decently (see Firefly) supports this. I’d happily see it again and will probably get the DVD when it’s out, but it’s not a perfect film. 9/10

30. Across The Universe (2007)

Fri, 08 Jun 2012 16:08:53 -0400

Watch out, Beatles about

Watched this as a result of following Evan Rachel Wood on twitter and wanting to see her as more than Evie Zamora or Sophie-Anne Leclerq. Quite enjoyable, both the surrealistic shots and the male lead’s vocal similarity to Ewan McGregor reminded me of Moulin Rouge. A film that not only am I glad I watched it, I would happily watch it again too. Worth checking out – and I say that as someone who’s not a fan of the Beatles or Liverpool. 9/10

29. Beginners (2011)

Fri, 08 Jun 2012 16:07:18 -0400

Not a prequel to The Inbetweeners

Quite a charming, lovely film involving Ewan McGregor’s re-evaluation of his life following his father’s death from cancer. Along the way we see flashbacks to his father’s life (amiably played by Christopher Plummer). Not exactly a cheerful film, but a sweetly entertaining one. 8/10

28. The Hunters (2011)

Mon, 16 Apr 2012 15:22:53 -0400

The hunters become the hunted

Watched this because Dianna Agron was in it, like Glee. It’s fuhl of
unsympathetic characters, convoluted plots, and leaves you uncaring
about the whole thing. I gave up after 45 minutes which felt three times
that and watched Smash. Dianna, seriously, do better roles. For your
fans if nobody else. 1/10

27. The Cabin In The Woods (2012)

Mon, 16 Apr 2012 15:20:41 -0400

If you go down to the woods today, you’re sure of a big surprise…

Quite frankly I’m impressed that this film even got released at all.
Filmed in March 2009 and stated for a release in October of that year,
it was pushed back due to attempted conversion to 3D, MGM’s bankruptcy,
LA being sent to hell, before finally being released last Friday.
Written by Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard, if you like their work (and I
have high standards in friends, so it’s quite likely you do) you’ll love
this film. Go and see it as soon as you can, and don’t read any reviews
or watch the trailer. Seriously. Don’t.

This is a bloody hard film to review. Not because it’s hard to
understand, but because it’s so easy to spoil it, and it really would
spoil it if you know. To speak generally would run the risk of spoiling
stuff too. If you like horror movies, smart movies, balls out action
movies, funny movies or anything supernatural, you’ll like this. It’s a
cracking two hours. 10/10

26. Hugo (2011)

Mon, 16 Apr 2012 15:18:33 -0400

Hugo bosses the Oscars

Again, another film that I’d been meaning to watch for ages but didn’t
get round to it. Quite a lovely tale aimed at children exploring the
history of cinema and in particular French cinematographer George
Melies. The acting is, as you’d expect from a Scorsese film, top notch -
with Moretz and Butterfield holding their own up against the
heavyweights of Ben Kingsley, Christopher Lee, Jude Law, and Ray
Winstone. Sacha Baron Cohen impressed me as the station inspector
(despite looking worryingly like Officer Crabtree from ‘Allo ‘Allo) too.
Despite the sweetness, the 30s posters, the trains, there was a general
feeling that the film was a little too slight to hold up to much
scrutiny. Enjoyable, but only in passing. 7/10

25. The Princess Bride (1981)

Mon, 16 Apr 2012 15:15:25 -0400

The face that launched a thousand memes

I’d had this for ages, since Laura was in Liverpool, and just never got
round to watching it until looking for a Saturday evening’s
entertainment. It’s very easy to see why it’s a popular film as it’s
funny, lovely and enjoyable without being crude at all. Definitely going
to be one to watch (and quote) again and again. 8/10

24. Moneyball (2011)

Mon, 09 Apr 2012 04:15:39 -0400

If you buy them, they will come

There aren’t that many films about baseball. The ones that do get made (Field Of Dreams, The Natural, Fever Pitch/A Perfect Catch) tend to be very high quality. This is no exception. It’s a dramatization of a book detailing how a small team manage to compete with the East Coast juggernauts by eschewing traditional scouting methods and picking up cheap players with good but overlooked skills, rather than star players. If you’re a fan of baseball you’ll love it, eating up the back room trades and insight into what goes on behind the scenes.

If you’re not a baseball fan, you’ll enjoy the underdog story in there too, as the A’s beat the American record for number of games won in a row. Even though this was given some focus it wasn’t over-played - while it was a nice record to have, it doesn’t get you a trophy - and so it wasn’t the crowning moment of the film. Brad Pitt is great, you get the feeling he would’ve made the tea and painted the set in order to get this film made. Jonah Hill is surprisingly good too - even though on the surface he seems to be playing the same role as Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Get Him To The Greek, Superbad and pretty much every other film you’ve seen him in - after a while you notice the nuances he puts into his character. Plus, this film has some gorgeous shots of Fenway Park, which is always going to sit well with me. Would definitely watch this again, though not when I’m following Boston throwing away a 3 run lead. Twice. 9/10